I'm going to jail i love you
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
