You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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