And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
