It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
