Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
