My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
