Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
She announced her abortion via fbk
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
