i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I think i got beer on your cat.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
