she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
