I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
