The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
There r osticjed everywhere
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
