Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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