Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
