remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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