apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
