I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize