Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
