I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
