Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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