Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
