xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize