I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you win again, gameday.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
