I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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