i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Can you bring me the toilet please
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
