thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
