hell yes lets make some ravioli
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
birth control should be required to get into college
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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