I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
