Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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