Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
