Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
