Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
