census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
