It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
