Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
