Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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