I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
