Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize