everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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