Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
