I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
