If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
