I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
