i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I puked a lego.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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