the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
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