No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
