Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The power of my boobs compel you
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
