This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
