A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
