Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
