he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Randomize
