Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
