id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
