There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize