i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize