office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize