I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
