this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
