I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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