so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
