at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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