roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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