...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
