morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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